The first time I heard about burn out it was in 2009. It happened to me.
What brought me to it? looking back, for years I had an interesting and passionate job I loved, nice colleagues, met a lot of people, saw a lot of concerts, festivals… (yes I worked in the music industry). Yes I was lucky even if it was not easy every day, we didn’t count our work hours, didn’t had a lot of time for our family… So why a burn out? Well the industry changed, the way we worked changed…but most importantly I changed.
What did I do at first? I changed job. I thought that changing my environment, colleagues, learning new things… was the solution. Guess what, it wasn’t. Putting this new pressure on myself was too much. I ended up completely burned out. So I finally decided to quit my job and started my journey inwards. I realised that I wasn’t listening to my feelings but made a choice with my head instead.
How do you feel when you are burned out? It depends on the person but it often describes feelings like stress, overwhelming, exhaustion, lack of joy, meaning, motivation, energy… We don’t know what we want anymore, we feel we hit a limit somehow.
Often the first thing we do is blaming our job, our boss, our environment… Something outside of us. So we try to change our job, our relation, even our city or country… Everything seems to be going well for a while but if we didn’t work on ourselves first and make choices that are in alignment with who we really are, if we didn’t listen to ourselves, it will all come back, and sometimes louder, worse. Your body, your soul speaks to you and wants to be heard.
A burn out is one of the way your body is saying to you that something in your life is not working anymore, something profound. The first step is to acknowledge it. Accept it and then make a decision. Leave the victim mode, take responsibility for your life and start digging. Who are you? What brings you joy ? What is it that you don’t like? What did the little you love to do? What did she want to become? What dreams did she have? Is there a time in your life where you were really happy? What did you do, how were you feeling then? If money was not a problem, what would you do, who would you be? How can you bring some of that in your life today?
It is not very easy to face it, to go deep in but it is really worth it. You don’t need to go on that journey all by yourself. It is important to have someone there to support and listen to you. And to have tools to help you. I had a good friend who was there for me and books with exercises to help me, but it took me years to finally manage to find myself and build my dream life. Now with coaching you don’t need to learn everything by yourself, today it is easier to find someone who can help you rebuild your life much faster. Of course the help of a professional therapist could be required at first. You know what’s best for you.
I wish you to find yourself and live your dreams, it is so worth it 🙏